It seems like it’s been ages since I’ve done a proper post here, so let’s let today’s list count as one, shall we?

• I picked up my keys on a Thursday, and by the following Tuesday, I’d managed to hurt myself. As it turns out, I’ve torn the cartilage in my knee. (Which is properly called the ‘meniscus’ as it turns out.) I’ve gone all of these years without knee or back problems (and in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a terribly serious problem) but I think I’ve ended that streak! I have an MRI scheduled and everything. This is totally not in the budget.
• The first course of treatment for this injury is a six-day course of steroids. The steroids have some unpleasant side effects, one of which is suddenly feeling hot. Umm, who needs that less than me?!?!
• There are about two places in my apartment where I can get cell phone reception. Everywhere else, there are zero bars.
• My apartment faces west, so even though there is a lovely stand of trees outside my place, I still get a little taste of the white-hot heat of the setting sun. Curtains will go up soon. Again, Mama doesn’t need any excess heat.
• Darcie has taken to apartment life like a champ. She’s so sweet and is making friends with everyone she meets, human and canine. (Thank you to Rebecca and Jason for giving her such a great start in life!) She wanted to spend some time with a kitty that was meowing from a second floor balcony this afternoon, but I think that maybe she didn’t so much want to “make friends” with this cat so much as “eat” the cat.
• Speaking of my sweet girl, she is sprawled across the foot of the bed, directly in the center of said bed, sleeping away. Boy is she going to be irritated with me when I rearrange her in a few minutes! She doesn’t understand why she can’t sleep in the middle….
• There are less than five boxes left to be unpacked! (I had approximately one bajillionty boxes when I started, so this is a huge success!)
• I made my first meal in my kitchen tonight (not counting sandwiches and the way I use my two liberal arts degrees to heat up frozen food). It was a good feeling to do so. And it was tasty AND there are leftovers! Score.
• I had (and still have) so much stuff. It’s overwhelming. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of stuff…some to trash and some given away, and there will be more paring down before it’s all said and done. This sorting process has been tremendously illustrative for me…I must acquire items more thoughtfully, less haphazardly. I need to hold on to items that are meaningful to me in a more thoughtful, less haphazard way as well. I guess I’m just realizing that I can’t keep everything.

So, to summarize: knee hurts, no cell phone bars, lots of boxes.

Yep, that’s pretty much it.

Thanks for stopping by!

I’m at the stage of unpacking where everything takes me about 50% longer to do because I’m not sure where everything (anything) is. I also wander around my place, putting things away, and putting something in the closet leads to moving something from the closet to the laundry room, and on my way to the laundry room, I spy something in the living room that needs to be put away. On and on it goes.

I realize these are problems only found in the first world, and in reality–in the grand scheme of things–these aren’t problems at all.

I’ve also become a bit of foggy-brained person…I can’t remember things and I left home without my phone earlier (gasp! the horror!). Again, this isn’t the biggest deal, but it’s just so unlike me.

I guess I didn’t think this move would be stressful because I brought this on myself. I chose to move…I chose to do this. But I’ll be darned if this isn’t still stressful.

All of this being said…I love my new place.

I’ve been siiiiick over the ten days. What started as a sore throat last week morphed into a full-blown illness, complete with laryngitis and a lingering cough. I still sound like a huskier-voiced version of myself and I have to say I kind of like it.

I sure do wish I had a spring break.

Today was a hard day for reasons that both do and don’t make sense to me.

I’m confident that at least a partial source of this malaise is that I return to work tomorrow…I’m actually mildly nauseated at the thought.

Have you ever had a realization that you’re doing something completely  incorrectly? You thought that things were this way, but really they were that way? I’m feeling that way about a couple of different areas of my life (pardon my being intentionally abstruse) and I feel completely bound-at-the-wrists by it. I’m not sure what to do/what I can do/what I should do to alter my course. It’s suddenly hard to breathe.

Right this minute, the place where expectation [hope] meets reality is cold and hard and dark.

Today has just been a really hard day.

Updates

• Fears of weirdness at work last week (as related to the funeral) were mostly unfounded. A trip to the mall reminds me that I could have it way worse. The normal weirdness abounded.
• Having said that, I am growing more and more anxious about the job search. I continue to look and am having a hard time finding jobs (or even a job…I only need one!) that I’m interested in that are objectively better than where I am. Subjective improvement, of course, is a completely separate issue.
• And having said that, I have a new suit that needs just minor alterations before it’s interview ready. It’s strange to prep for an interview I don’t have. I need out. I just really need out.
• My least favorite part of today? Getting a call from my boss, chastising me about an hour and a half of overtime worked last week. During the busiest time of our year. Whatever, dude. Forty hours it is. The way that our salaries are structured, any hours that I work after the first forty are actually cheaper for the company. Just thinking about it makes my heart beat hard and makes me want to throw up a little.
• I just finished Numbers. I didn’t know there was a talking donkey at the end! All I could think of was Shrek and so I heard the donkey’s voice as Eddie Murphy doing Donkey. Still, so good.

So I didn’t have the New Year’s Eve I wanted to have, but that’s not going to stop me! I’ve already determined that this year has to be different from last year. It has to be. As a way to make an impact in my own life, to live intentionally, I’ve made some resolutions for 2010. I typically don’t make resolutions and I definitely don’t talk about them, but I’m trying something new. Here goes.

Wait, before I get started…some of these are very concrete, measurable goals, and some are less so. But I needed to put it all out there just the same.

• Stop holding stupid grudges.
• Start running again.
• New job.
• Get my own apartment.
• Read the Bible through before the year is over.
• Learn more about Biblical history.
• Enroll in a program to pursue my counseling degree.
• Be less anxious.
• Spend more time with the people I love.

A few things I did in 2009:

• read through Psalms
• began having a daily quiet time
• kept a prayer journal
• made some amends
• started a savings account for vacations!
• bought a MacBook
• had some minor (but scary) health issues
• broke some of my own rules
• spent time with some good friends (but not enough time, and with not enough friends)

I’m anxious (per my usual) about the new year, but eager to believe that God’s best is still ahead for me, not in my past.